There are a lot of things I did not stop to consider before I elected to have weight loss surgery. As with most of my decisions in life, it was quick and based off gut instinct. I had a friend who posted a picture on Facebook one day. She looked amazing-she’d lost about half her body weight! I couldn’t believe it. I emailed her immediately to find out how she did it. To my relief she did not say, “Diet and exercise.” I had tried that before and failed every single time. She said she had a surgery called Duodenal Switch. She also gave me the name and number to Rocky Mountain Associated Physicians (RMAP).
Learn more about weight loss surgery at Rocky Mountain Associated Physicians www.RMAP.com (801) 268-3800
I signed up to attend RMAP’s free Risks and Benefits seminar to see what weight loss surgery was all about. I lied to my husband about where I was that night. No one wants to admit they are seeking help for a struggle they can’t conquer on their own. I listened impatiently through the entire presentation. I was desperately eager to just select a method and move forward. On the drive home that night, I tried to practice how I was going to ask for enough money to get the surgery. With tears streaming down my face, I spoke with my husband and asked to alter our savings account. I am a pretty strong person, and I rarely feel sorry for myself—but in that moment I felt so exposed and vulnerable.
My husband said we’d find a way to make it work and agreed. I felt immediate relief. I was going to “get skinny!” I was going to be “super-hot.” I was going to be “fit.” I think back now and those thoughts make me laugh. They are completely immature and deluded with society’s view of beauty. I have always felt like a very confident person, even heavy. I felt I never struggled with my sense of identity or life because of my weight—or so I thought. I thought I was just tired of being the “fat girl.”
It’s been eight and a half months since my duodenal switch surgery. I have lost 107 pounds so far. I have shrunk from a size 24 to a size 12. Most definitely I am happy to be smaller and have more energy. But something else happened to me that I completely did not expect. My real problems associated with my eating habits (and subsequently my weight) came to light.
I knew that I loved food, obviously. What I didn’t focus on, or refused to acknowledge, was how much I used food to cope with stress and depression, buy phentermine online without prescription which in turn, caused more stress and depression. I have always been what I considered a confident person. But I am realizing now, my “confidence” was an aggressive outcry. I was abrasive and borderline mean; basically “my way or the highway” type of person. I was assertive, but over all the wrong details. I made mountains out of mole hills in the blink of an eye.
I was addicted to food—and when I didn’t have food I was not a fun person; extremely negative. After weight loss surgery, I went through a period of severe depression. I couldn’t eat the things I wanted, not by choice—oh, trust me I tried, but because it physically hurt me. I couldn’t digest the things that I loved most (carbs and fried food); I never felt satisfied or what I conserved “whole.” How weird and sad is that? I started to realize how I had allowed food to control my life and way of being, and that’s when the light bulb clicked on.
I no longer wig out over calories or cravings. I have a small bit and indulge once in a while. Now when I look at my body, all jiggly with rapid weight loss and complete untoned, I think “Love it or do something about it.” I don’t count carbs, fat or grams of sugar. I don’t wake up every day with a list of expectations I certainly can’t make in 24 hours. I feel truly happy, and it’s apparent in every aspect of my life. I am a better co-worker, boss and trainer. I am a better wife. I am a better daughter, sister and friend. I am more tolerant of people, realizing everyone has personal struggles. I feel more open minded, observant and most importantly—like a kinder person.
Don’t get me wrong there are still days of struggle. I am slowly losing my “negative friends”; they no longer want to be around me and my “bursting with joy” personality (which is understandable). I am more emotional, more in tune with my feelings of being “hurt”, before weight loss surgery I would eat to quiet those feelings.
I am not complaining; of course I love being thinner, and more active. But, more importantly the weight loss following duodenal switch surgery has really helped heal my soul, and that is by far the greatest gift I didn’t know I needed.
–Candis B.
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www.RMAP.com
Rocky Mountain Associated Physicians
801-268-3800
1160 East 3900 South, Suite 4100
SLC, UT 84124